Nikki Glaser Slams CBS News, Leo DiCaprio, and More in a Sharp Golden Globes Monologue
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Nikki Glaser made a comeback to theGolden Globesstage with the assurance of someone who clearly understands the limits of what she can get away with, and then pushed slightly beyond them in another sharp-witted speech. Hosting the Golden Globe Awards forthe second consecutive year, Glaser kicked off the 83rd ceremony with a speech that combined industry dark humor, political insights, and her renowned celebrity roast skills, delivering an exceptionally powerful opening to the event.
She began by acknowledging Hollywood’songoing corporate anxiety, pretending to sell Warner Bros. for a few dollars. “We’ll begin the bidding for Warner Bros. at five dollars,” she said, then followed up with, “Do I get five dollars?” The joke was both a humorous moment and a subtle recognition of how uncertain even the largest entertainment companies feel these days. From there, she moved into more serious territory, mentioning the Epstein files while looking around the room.
I can’t believe the amount of celebrity presence in this room tonight,” Glaser said. “There are so many A-listers – and by A-listers, I mean people on a list that has been significantly censored.” The host then delivered one of the night’s most enthusiastic applause moments: “And the Golden Globe for Best Editing goes to… the Justice Department.” Not satisfied with that, she continued, “And the award for the most editing goes to CBS News. Yes. CBS News: America’s latest spot to ‘See B.S. News.’
Glaser’s celebrity-related comments were equally sharp. Speaking about”One Battle After Another”star Leonardo DiCaprio, Glaser commended his career before arriving at the unavoidable age-gap joke: “The most impressive thing is that you managed to achieve all of that before your girlfriend reached 30.” She then softened her comment, saying, “Leo, I’m sorry I made that joke. It was cheap. I tried not to, but we don’t really know anything else about you, man. There’s”nothing else. Open up!”
In another instance, part-time coffee salesman George Clooney humorously went along with Glaser’s straight-faced question, “My Nespressos keep coming out watery. Do you think it might be the filter?” Meanwhile, Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart were referred to as Glaser’s “favorite comedy duo,” although she later added, “You guys are like Steve Martin and Martin Short for people under 50 IQ.”
She also teased Martin and Short, joking that the “Only Murders in the Building” cast are evidence that “You’re never too old to still need money!” Glaser also criticized high-end television, saying the latest season of “The White Lotus” is “the first popular show to include incest since ‘The Property Brothers.’”
Cold but conscious, timely but not arrogant, Glaser fully succeeded. It’s clear why she was brought back so soon after her 2025 hosting debut, and in a year when award shows are still struggling to feel meaningful, she created an entertaining atmosphere – with no illusions that everything was perfect.
d**k Clark Productions, which manages and creates the Golden Globes, is part of Penske Media. PMC also serves as its parent company.
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